Plan B is the new Plan A
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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