My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My vagina is very pro this idea
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize