Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize