So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
