I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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