Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
