Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
