It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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