so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How does it feel to date your dad?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
