Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
