paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
