My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm sobbing to NWA
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
