problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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