I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We are two peas in an std pod
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
