I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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