Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
