meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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