He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
