between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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