I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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