i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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