Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
