my sisters under your porch take her home
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
