I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
