I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
