I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
