sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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