Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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