I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
