id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
