I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
