She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
