i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize