i wish my penis had a tongue
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I would fuck him just for his dog
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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