I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
