you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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