im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
