I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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