You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
