I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
