Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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