oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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