Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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