i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
