used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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