I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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