I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The dick lei will go down in squad history
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
