I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize