This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
