I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize