Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
