someone get that fucking seahorse.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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