When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Randomize
