McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You may now shotgun with the bride
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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