The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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