Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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