I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
