the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
