chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
