its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
