i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
