ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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