; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
