This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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