drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How external is "for external use only"?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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