I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
