how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
