lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
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