i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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