You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I would ride that face into the sunset
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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