Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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