another moral hangover. fuck.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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