laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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