were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
