her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
True strength comes from lack of pants
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
