Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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