There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
