Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
