just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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